Real Friends

KathiEdit

I recently mentioned to an acquaintance that a friend of mine was experiencing a difficult life situation, and that although she was handling it very admirably, I was really worried about her. My acquaintance asked me how I knew this woman that I had referred to, and I told her that she was one of my friends on Facebook. My acquaintance laughed and said that Facebook friends weren’t real friends and I was wasting my time becoming involved with the ins and outs of their every day lives.

So the question of the day is: Are Facebook friends real?

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Of course they are real since they do exists. At least most of them. There are some people out there with phony accounts but this blog is not going to address those particular voyeurs. The question this blog is going to address, isn’t whether or not these friends who we will most likely never meet in person are real people, but are they real friends?

In my opinion the answer is yes. These people are ABSOLUTELY my real friends. They’ve shared their ups and downs with me. I’ve worried about them and prayed for them when they have faced medical challenges, relationship issues, job losses, and other life challenges. I rejoiced with them during the special moments in their lives and laughed with them during their silly moments.  I’ve gone on vacation with them (vicariously through photos) and they in turn have shared my ups and downs and have traveled with me.

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I feel like I know some of the people I have met on Facebook more intimately than I know some of the people I run into in my every day life. I care about the friends I have come to know through social media and in turn I feel like they care about me. So are Facebook Friends real? I guess we each have to decide that for ourselves, but I know that my life is fuller and richer due to the friends I share photos and updates with every day of my life.

So the question of the day is are Facebook friends real? Comment below for a chance to win your choice of a Kathi Daley Tote. I have four patterns left to choose from including Hopscotch Homicide, Grimm’s Furry Tail, Matrimony Meltdown, and Much Ado About Felines. I will announce the winner on my Facebook page on Saturday.

http://www.facebook.com/kathidaleybooks

Website http://www.kathidaley.com

The Daley Weekly. http://eepurl.com/NRPDf

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161 thoughts on “Real Friends

  1. Penny Marks says:

    Facebook friends are most certainly real. For some of us who can’t get out on a daily basis they are our life line to the world. I know more about some of you guys than friends I had years ago. I feel like we support one another if things just aren’t going quite right and celebrate when things are great. We have common interests and enjoy each other and our funny and sometimes sad posts. I know I can count on prayers and support when needed and I hope people know I am here if they need it back. Thanks Kathi😊📚

  2. They are probably more real than our in-person friends because sometimes it’s easier to share fears and doubts anonymously without that fear of being chastised. Also you tend to friend people with similar interests and therefore have a better understanding of what happens in your life.

  3. Margo Sue says:

    Are Facebook friends “real” is what you wonder about
    Most definitely, I’d say with a shout
    While they may not be physically next to me
    Proximity equals friendship is only one key.
    Sharing our thoughts, our sadness, our joys
    Our pets, our children, our latest toys
    And hopefully someday we’ll celebrate
    When we meet in person, won’t that be great.
    So if you share your life, and I share mine
    The world becomes friendlier, isn’t that fine?

  4. Brandy says:

    I have had some facebook friends for years. We have been through A LOT together. They ARE my friends. I agree with everything you say.

  5. Catherine Bogert says:

    Absolutely they are real friends. I have met (not in person) so many wonderful people through Facebook. I’ve learned so much from them, what a gift. How could that not be real.

  6. Marjorie Roy says:

    Facebook friends are my friends and there for me when needed as support, some I know personally some I do not. I too enjoy travelling with them and I especially enjoy the pictures they share with me. I am so happy to have these friends in my life.

  7. Most of my Facebook friends are authors I have befriended on there but I do get to know a lot of them, and would call some of them pretty close friends. I don’t share too much on Facebook other then maybe about my cat and hubby but I know folks seem to still know I am not doing well or happy about something, and how my facebook friends can tell, I am not speaking up on something, they usually message me privately. Most know me better then what “close” friends I do have.
    SO yes they are real. 🙂

  8. I am a stay-at-home mom, so the people I meet online or sometimes the closest friends I have. Some people may see it aside, but I see it as using the Internet to my advantage. I pray for these people, I keep up with these people and I share in the joys of these people. These people are just like me to. They may not have people to talk to in real life the same as I do throughout the week. They may be stuck in their homes not be able to get out. These “friends” are friends. with technology, the meaning of friendship has involved but there is no less meaning in an Internet friend who you share things with then a friend that you see every few months.

  9. Mari Krampach says:

    Kathi, you are a special person for being so personally involved with your Facebook friends (readers) some authors are only in it to promote and that is fine. But your genuine interest and kind gestures make you special and in turn very dear to us. Thank you for being the person you are. Facebook can end some people’s loneliness by having a friend.

  10. Judy Weaver says:

    Yes, our Facebook friends are real. We laugh with them, cry with them, and yes, know more about their lives that people living around us. I now have several author friends and if we met I think we could just start up a conversation. I love how FB brings people together. I also met several people when I was playing the games on FB and some of those people are still my friends. Back in the day, we had pen pals, but you would have to wait for that letter in the mail. Now we can get an instant response, it’s great! I love reading about by FB friends and am always ready to say a prayer if they need one, or laugh at a funny story they post. Thank you Kathi, for your books, your blogs, your contest (you are very giving), and most of all for your friendship.

  11. Guillianne kolb says:

    I so agree they are real..I have met some people from Facebook and reconnected with a lot of friends..I think with fb friends it’s easier to open up about things really bothering you because you know you won’t have to see the judgement , pity, or other faces that you would on your true live friends and they will most likely be the most honest with you..I have a friend on here whom I have known for 5 years and we message daily and talk once a week and I consider one of my closest friends even though we have never met..she has seen me through many things and called me even when true live friends didn’t…

  12. Peggy says:

    They can be more real than our in-person friends. It’s often easier to share fears and doubts anonymously without that fear of being thought of poorly. I love my Facebook friends … we enjoy many of the same things. I find myself wanting to know them better … try to help in their sorrows and rejoice with them when wonderful things happen in their lives.

  13. Valerie Melton says:

    oh I agree 100% that FB friends are real! they have been here for me when my real life who live close to me never have been. I hope someday to meet n person my fb friends. You are such a wonderful person, and it shows in how you write. you are very detailed in all you do it seems.

  14. Kathy Dunn says:

    Absolutely Facebook friends are real! You share they joys, their pain, laugh with them and cry with them when they are hurting. I have made several close friendships with people here and in other countries and am thankful for their friendship and insight into other countries and customs.

  15. peggy clayton says:

    I think that they are real. Of course you get the ones that you have to weed out as after reading some of their posts you realize that they aren’t but those you can spot. Then the rest are they have their ups and their downs. They need someone to help them sometimes thru a hard time and sometimes the facebook friends are the best to help you.

  16. Denise Shaw says:

    Oh my YES! They are real friends! I have a few on Facebook I have never met and I consider them , as you do, more of a friend than those I actually “know”. I love hearing of their everyday life. There is one that I have “been thru” a heart attack with, worries about what her hubby will do when he retires from military, watched her child grow through the years and I am actually going to get to meet here in a few weeks. As you may remember I am travelling with hubby on business and his company is sending us to her hometown. I can’t wait!

    So YES! They are my true friends!!!

  17. Michele says:

    I am part of a group of women on facebook that found each other almost 10 years ago.We’ve helped each other through some of the worst times of our lives. We’ve gone on to meet each other and laugh and cry together. My Army Mommas are my best friends. I’ve visited them, drove miles out of our way in either direction to meet for coffee, stayed in their homes and photographed a wedding. They are most definitely real!

  18. Michele Gray says:

    Yes, Facebook friends are definitely real. I have gained some close relationships through online more than with my own family. Facebook friends were there when I needed some support and not being judged.

  19. JoAn V. says:

    My Facebook friends are definitely real for me. I talk to many of them more often that I do my friends “in the real world”. I have met so many nice people who share my love of reading and humor. Many of the authors that I have met have been so genuine and kind, like you, that I hope to some day meet them in person so that I can say “Thank You” for your hard work and the glorious hours of reading that your books have provided for me.

  20. Linda Murray says:

    I have been on Facebook for years. My family and friends are all on there and we stay connected in a way we weren’t able to before. There are some who use Facebook for their own reasons, but I have met and made many wonderful friends over the years I have been on there. We share as much as some of my family shares, sometimes even more of the daily events in our lives. I have met a few scammers but mostly I have met a lot of wonderful, caring, giving people who have enriched my life on a daily basis. Just like when dealing with people out in the world, you have to be smart and pay attention, because not everyone is who they portray themselves to be in public, the same is true on Facebook. It would be difficult for me to be anything other then who and what I am on Facebook, because of how many family members and long time friends are on there with me. If I were to try to be fake, they would call me out on it in a heartbeat! Especially family members who know me better then anyone! lol If you take the time to read someone’s post, and people’s reaction to them, you can begin to learn a lot about them, and that includes whether they are trying to be fake or not! I have a lot of long time and wonderful friends on Facebook that we have gone through a lot together yet I have never met them, while there are some people around me in the physical world that I have know for years and not been as close to them or shared as much with. So I guess it’s like other things in life, you get out of it what you put in to it! I consider you Kathi as a dear friend, something that would not have happened if it weren’t for Facebook!

  21. connie correll says:

    I have become “cyberfriends” with at least 3 different ladies. Never met them, but we know and support each other onlibe! One has become my sister, lol. Wouldn’t trade them for the world.

  22. Debbie S says:

    Yes, I believe they are real. What is the difference between a FB friend and a pen pal that used to be back in my younger days? These are the people I feel for when they have problems and say prayers for them, get excited for them when they share good news, and they make me laugh. There are a few I would some day love to meet in person, as for that, I have seen people make comments that they finally did meet their FB friends. Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus, they do exist.

  23. Darlene says:

    I have met a lot of people through face book that live in all parts of the world. To me they are friends. I think of face book as an updated modern version of pen pals. Years ago I had pen pals that I wrote with and yes they became good friends through the power of writing. Now we have the electronic age where everything is at a touch of our computers. I remember waiting patiently for the mail to come and hope that I had a response to the last letter that got sent airmail to my pen pal. Now I just open my computer and am able to communicate so fast. I have met many people on face book that I consider my friends.

  24. Liette Bougie says:

    Of course they are. Years ago, I met some wonderful people on various Yahoo groups – most of them are now on FB… and I’ve met three of them face to face. We spent some wonderful hours together, sightseeing my hometown. So, yes… definitely.

  25. Pamela Woodfield says:

    I think they are very real. I have met people thru FB that I talk to nearly every day. People in “real” life including some family I don’t talk to that much. There are FB groups with my same health problems where I have met some of my closest & dearest friends.

  26. Christina Girdner says:

    I have made so many wonderful friends on facebook. From book lovers to pet lovers and I always enjoy their posts. It’s wonderful when someone lets you share their lives and you can share yours with them. I am grateful for all of my friends.

  27. I’ve met some amazing people on Facebook that I would have otherwise had no opportunity to meet and interact with. I have been giving this a lot of thought lately, and yes my Facebook friends are real.

  28. Teri Fish says:

    Yes they are real friends. Some of the friends I have on facebook are more supportive, kind, caring and I feel that more then the people who say are my friends that I can run into at the store and they won’t even say “hi” to me. Heck some of my Facebook friends are more caring and I talk to them more than my own family.

  29. Linda May says:

    Facebook Friends are real & I love each & every one of them in different ways. I have high school friends, family friends & neighbor friends, by the way I love your books & keep them coming. Thanks for this awesome chance.

  30. Brenda Rozek says:

    I love my Facebook friends. Some I know personally and some I know only through Facebook, like I met you, Kathi, on the Whodunit page. I already had some of your books but feel like I’ve gotten to know you personally since then and have a whole new appreciation for your work and I love your Random Thoughts. I interact with you and your posts on a daily basis whereas I don’t with the friends I know personally.

  31. Facebook friends are real friends. We meet each other through comments made re an authors’ works, which we read because the authors writing reflect who they are. The compassion, humor, and genuine affection evinced in the books resonate with a reader causing us to form a kinship. I, for one, appreciate all my authors and their readers and the sharing of family details….we come closer to each other and all of us have or have had similar things happen to us. We are able to support one another, despite having never physically met. Thank you for the insightful ‘musing’ and ‘random thoughts’.

  32. Betty Jo English says:

    I think some Facebook friends do care about me as a real person not just faceless being. We share our thoughts and experiences through our comments. Gives us ways to create a vision of who we each really are.

  33. MaryAnn Forbes says:

    FB friends are very real and special to me. I value them and enjoy getting acquainted, sharing interests, celebrating happy times and being there in difficult times.💐

  34. I share more about my life to you guys and book group friends than I do on my own page. I tend not to comment too much on mine or my friends pages because just recently my cousin who is a book reviewer and blogger and fangirl unfriended because on her personal page she posted pics of some gifts she got from some book friends which were really cool. I told her that I was jealous and thought it was awesome. And the next thing I knew she was giving me all kinds of crap in a pm. She said she didn’t do jealously or pity parties. I told her I was.not a pity party and that I wasn’t jealous it was just a way to express how great I thought the gifts were. Anyway she said she didn’t think we could be friends anymore and unfriended me. I have found that most people that are your friends on facebook and in life have no tolerance for personal comments about a bad day or a illness but friends you have met on facebook but not face to face seem to be more tolerant, forgiving and are most likely to offer support and prayers. So yes facebook friends can and most times are real friends.

  35. Linda Mierka says:

    I totally agree that facebook friends are real friends…they listen to your concerns without judgement and you can be more open with them about things that concern you that you really dont want to share with others . You can have friends from all over the world and appreciate their differences and share their joys and sorrows. I know so much more about people and cultures now then i ever did before facebook and get to meet great people like yourself.

  36. robeader says:

    Facebook friends are usually people you choose yourself to accept as a friend. They may fall into different levels of friends. There are friends that have been your friend forever, there are friends you may know through a certain career (authors, crafters) and then there are friends who come from being acquainted to another individual. It’s all in what you make of it. robeader53@yahoo.com

  37. Andra says:

    As friendships can take many forms, they are also through various mediums. Similar to the old fashioned pen-pals. They were my friends, I felt vested in their lives, what there to share the ups and downs, so I consider Facebook Friends be real friends. Remembering of course that some friends are just acquaintences while others are our besties….

  38. Hester Regan says:

    Of course Face book friends are real. I have met many new friends since I Joined. Kathi Daley is one of mine. I chat with her in comments. she replies. I read her books. I have also met many others and now we write letters and emails and share recipes etc. I see no reason to believe these “friends” are not real.

  39. Nancy Roessner says:

    It’s great to read these responses and see that other people also feel that online friends are real,too. I know that I share love of books and crocheting and knitting and animals and family life and more with my online friends. We gravitate towards those who share our interests, most of the time. Other times we don’t share opinions with our online friends, but accept them, anyway. If that isn’t real, I don’t know what is. Online friendships have been a lifesaver for me, when things have gone downhill, or just plain crazy for me. That’s real!

  40. Georgiann Hennelly says:

    yes Face book friends are real we share a lot of things , hopes dreams family issues
    my face book friends are always there for me to lean on we may never meet in person but we know each other because we take the time to connect with each other on Face book through emails or face book messages sending pokes hugs and love to each other.

  41. I met me BFF Dru Ann on Facebook. We found out we lived less then a mile from each other and met up for a meal. I have RL friends on FB also and that includes many of the authors who live in the Tri-State area of NYC. I also meet many of my FB friends at RWA when it’s in NYC or they come for a book signing.

    YES FB FRIENDS ARE REAL FRIENDS!

  42. Sha says:

    I absolutely believe that Facebook friends are real. I am honored to call the people I’ve “met” through social media my friends. Some know everything about my life and others know a little. I joined a The Voice FB group in fall of 2014 and there is one woman in particular who I’ve become very close to. We’ve shared family problems, medical problems, daily highs and lows as well as our dreams. I feel my life is much better off since I’ve come to know these people and I truly believe that anyone who doesn’t believe that FB friends are real is really missing out!

  43. Facebook friends are absolutely real and I have been blessed to meet a few over the years in person. There are a many that are just my casual type friends but there are some that are very near and dear to my heart and I couldn’t imagine not having them in life. We are able to share so much of our lives. I connect with some amazing people that understand my daily struggles with caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s.
    It’s a wonderful way to make new friends that share my same interests such as my love for books. I am blessed to say I have many friends from all walks of life, all over the world that are my friends who I just happened to meet on FB.

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